it's one day before christmas eve
and i miss him like crazy
he's probably laughing now and going out with his friends, how i wish i know what he's doing.
could he really be not loving me? could he really not want me
the more days pass, the easier it should be, but it's not.
it's getting harder.
how i wish i dont live these days.
how i wish things didnt turn out the way they are now.
want him back? maybe, but not without the respect, the love and the dignity
i can't take him back, i dont want him far, i dont want to be weak.
merry christmas all.
i just want to call.
ask how are you? how are things? how's ur work? How's she?
what's up?
a lot of things have happened with me, updates, that i'd like to share.
i just want to call and talk.
no results, no thing, just a random conversation.
what if you don't pick up? what if you're too cold that i couldn't bare it.
what if i hated you after the call.
i'd rather not call.
i'd rather call but not have that as a result.
how could u take this much of a break? is it a final break? should i really forget you?
why? it doesn't make sense, it really doesn't.
sometimes, things happen in weird ways
i can't but think that we fit together, why the separation.
why should i believe it..
time should show everything, and how hard that is.
1:21 PM
he never allowed me a day for a break,
now I should give him the time he needs,
how come this is fair?
how come it is fair?
I can't survive this anymore, I want to call and beg him the return
but he shouldn't be begged, how come when he wants me back he can easily fool me back into it
emotions.. emotions.. emotions, we always loose this battle and the guys always win.
he decides when he wants me back, he decides when he wants to leave, when he wants to come back.
i have to sit and wait.
then he tells you, why wait? live your life, if we're meant to be we're meant to be.
seriously?
how am I supposed to live with that? easy for me to do?
I do not want emotional troubles, I hate them.
2:14 PM
i was accused..
broken into a million string when it rings
as if i am for a thousand guys out there for a fling
8:14 AM
He is beautiful
Beauty according to my definition
He is gentle
Gentle according to my standards
He is rich
Rich according to my satisfaction
He is romantic
Romantic according to my complexities
He loves me
He adores me
He worships my grounds
He respects me
He lifts me up
He
Can't
Exist
He
Doesn't
10:13 AM
It's really hard to deal with a man of no reason
It's harder to deal with a man of no brains
a man of hand, voice and screams
a man of temper, power and no aim
it's silly how you look at it and know it's wrong
very clearly wrong
but yet can't do a thing
can't whisper the wrong
it's funny how in a world of many people
a world of few dominates
it's funny how your sex defines your state
it's funny how it's so clearly wrong
it's funny how blind you get along
9:11 AM
Attention: this post can cause tears, heart aches, or nothing; it depends on who you are.
Song recommended: little things- Lily Allen
It happened, this one thing that shook every normal
One life on the edge, other lives are close to that edge
You can pull your life out; it’s your own choice and call
But the one on the edge, is almost lost
You can hang on the edge for a little while
Until you can’t hold it anymore
Until you get so tired of waiting that freaking hope
Until suddenly all you believe in doesn’t lift your soul
Until you simply give up
I met this person at the beginning of my uni days
They met him too, a couple of little times
He was okay in their eyes, a nice person
And he’s off the list now
It was a simple friend- friend definition
I met this other person last year
Never thought a friendship will arise
It was different, it was slow and fast
Rhyming friends, both with poetic abilities
Sharing friends, my problem vs yours
Your soul picks people, and you only follow
I felt comfortable and easy to that
And it was simple, complicated but right
I knew about the sick grandma
The one day a week
This subject, this father,
We are people and we have our simple daily stories
I had my share, I had my share
The two were the same
The two walked together
The two were together along with the common person
I met some others before these days
And it was the same over again
I always back off at certain time
The time when I feel vulnerable
When I feel that I should be a one sole soul
When I feel that I shouldn’t be weak in front of anybody
That’s when I used to pick
Now fate decided to lend a hand
Of someone who can make my choices for me
For that I dump you all
I leave you all
Because things need to have closure
And mine took long
I don’t want to be in your throat
You don’t see that now, you’ll soon do
I don’t want to be “the” burden
You don’t feel that, you’ll feel soon
I don’t want to be anything
You don’t know that, you’ll figure soon
Ramadan has already started
Tell her it’s done, Lubna’s case that is
Go to iftars, go to whatever
Lubna Taimeh doesn’t exist anymore
We were F.R.I.E.N.D.S, let’s benefit from that by:
Now that my friend is what I call: clloosure
9:21 AM
To the Illusion in you
You don’t know, I promise you that.
It’s all mixed inside, I can’t interpret it
Days are passing so quickly
Each day I miss, brings hope for the next
And the cycle goes on and on
Even when the illusion exists
It’s always bored or in need to leave
I don’t bother, or explain
It’s all in the looks that the illusion and I share
When it’s mixed with reality calls or chats
It sounds so unreal
The two souls don’t match except at special rare moments
I miss those “rares”
9:20 AM
I reached... finally to the gate
the only gate i was blind and couldn't see
the one door i wasn't able to find its key
i don't belong to you, your city or your last name
I decided not to belong, even when all facts say different
they can force on paper, but not on mind
and yes i lost you, you lost me, it's the end here
i could've said: NO, but that's not what i want
I could've pointed out, but why should I?
If your brain is blind, if your heart is a lie
if your soul is veiled, I don't think I should be your light.
I am not proud of you, your city or your last name
I'm sticking to the 1st of my names
and my revolution should start from there
9:19 AM
I think time is in a chase with us all
I used to run, now i'm too old
I want to reach there fast
apparently there's no cheating even for the last
Things happened so quick that I can't keep a grip
I trust but not really, I believe but doubt sincerely
Worries, excitement and alot of brain action
while for the hurt, blocking takes a good fraction
Parties, up to threeto my brain, only God and sometimes me can flee
9:18 AM
If you miss all these and miss me,Imagine what I miss.... :
I miss the warmest of all hugs
I miss the beautiful heart that shudnt be stopped
I miss the one always beside me
I miss who always fight for me
I miss our funky drives, and god knows what else
cmon no one helps me prove omar's existence but you
no one knows how to deal with things like the me and you
i think ppl will think we're nasty, dear so i'll shut up here, and hurry bring ur ass here
yalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
9:17 AM
she thinks life rotates just for her
she thinks that it's all about what she wants
she thinks that we're all zero next to her needs
she thinks that she can rule with her deeds
screw you a day shall come, a day that's near
9:15 AM
sometimes i smile
sometimes i cry
sometimes i laugh
sometimes i weep
sometimes i share
sometimes i hide
sometimes i dance
sometimes i fight
never i hit
and the dress isn't done yet
9:14 AM
sometimes it makes her feel sad
the eyes would spread gazes
carried in little sad phases
sometimes she'd wish she's loose
to do nothing, just the simple and right
emotions should be allowed to flow
suppression of any sort is a blow
sometimes.... it only becomes a wish
sometimes itself is a wish
sometimes ah...... let's just smile
